GETTING STARTED WITH YOUR INTERCORP™ BOXPAD™ 650

Thank you for your purchase of the Intercorp™ Boxpad™ 650. We hope that you are fully satisfied with your product. To maximize your Boxpad™ experience, prolong the life of the product, and prevent potential serious injuries, we recommend that you follow these steps carefully.

1. Remove product from box.

The Intercorp™ Boxpad™ 650 is packaged using the most advanced and modern corrugated-cardboard technology. To open the packaging, first carefully remove the tape from the seams of the box. In order to prevent potential issues during the use of the product, ensure that no tape residue remains on any part of the cardboard. Remove all of the foam packaging materials, but do not discard them or your warranty may be voided. Locate the power supply, the Boxpad™ unit, the shock-resistant case (if included with your model), the spigmatic exorption antenna, and any other peripherals that may be present.

2. Assemble shock-resistant case (if present).

The assembly system of the shock-resistant case represents a wonderful time-saving innovation, greatly improving on designs used in previous models. To attach it to the Boxpad™, simply insert tab A into slot B while simultaneously inserting tab C into slot D. Attach point I to point J. Then tighten screw F, align side K with side L, fold flap P along seam Q, insert tab X into slot Y, and solder wire Σ to pin Δ, as shown in Figure 53.7-2, which can be purchased from Intercorp™ Enterprises for 50 Intercredits™ plus shipping and handling.

3. Attach spigmatic exorption antenna to Boxpad™.

The spigmatic exorption antenna is attached to the Boxpad™ magnetically. To attach it, rub the base of the antenna with a strong permanent magnet until it becomes magnetized, then place it on top of the Boxpad™. If, during the operation of the Boxpad™, the spigmatic exorption antenna becomes dislodged in any way, power off the device IMMEDIATELY and repeat these steps to reattach the antenna.

4. Power on the product.

Insert one end of the power supply into the mauve port on the underside of the device, and insert the other end into a standard AC outlet. Do NOT under any circumstances insert the power supply into the lilac port, as this may cause your Boxpad™ to undergo unexpected combustion. After ensuring that the power supply is connected to the mauve port (and not the lilac port), press and hold the chartreuse button for EXACTLY 2,651 milliseconds. The Boxpad™ should produce a 440-hz pitch upon startup and then boot up. (It may be beneficial to verify this frequency using an oscilloscope.)

5. Set up preferences.

Once the Boxpad™ has had time to fully boot up, press the vermillion “Preferences” button on the southeast corner of the device. Follow the instructions on the top screen to configure the settings on your Boxpad™ however you would like. First-time users are encouraged to skip potentially challenging and error-prone setup by selecting “Automatically configure device topology” on the screen, adjusting the interactivity dial to no more than 36%, and setting the switch labeled “Bees” to the “disabled” position.

USING YOUR INTERCORP™ BOXPAD™ 650

The Intercorp™ Boxpad™ 650 is truly a marvel of modern engineering at its finest. Follow these tips to ensure best results when using it.

1. Avoid touching unlabeled buttons

The exterior of the Boxpad™ has a very wide variety of buttons, switches, and dials on it. First-time users are asked to refrain from interacting with any that are unlabeled, as it may cause unexpected or highly erratic behavior.

2. Allow product to drain thoroughly after each use

When you have finished using your Boxpad™, loosen the valve on the underside of the product and allow any excess liquids to drain for at least two hours before using it again. Do NOT under any circumstances allow these liquids to come in contact with eyes, skin, or load-bearing structures.

3. Use cyan button in case of emergency

If any unexpected “problems” arise during the operation of your Boxpad™, press the cyan button twice. This will reboot the system. Please note that following the use of the cyan button, the Boxpad™ may need more time to drain adequately.

4. Bullet point four

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5. Enable Turbo Mode™ by using Techspanded!™ peripherals

Each time you purchase a certifed Intercorp™ Techspanded!™ Peripheral for your Boxpad™, your Boxpad™ will enter Turbo Mode™ for the next 24 hours. Intercorp™ Enterprises advises that safety goggles be worn for the duration of Turbo Mode™, especially while operating the product.

TROUBLESHOOTING YOUR BOXPAD™

My Boxpad™ won't turn on

Ensure that the power supply is connected firmly to the wall outlet and the lilac port on the underside of the device. If problem persists, press the twelve small silver buttons that are evenly distributed over the surface of the product and hold them down simultaneously for 15 to 20 minutes.

My Boxpad™ won't turn off

Unplug the power supply from the Boxpad™. If problem persists, remove the casing from the underside of the device and cut any exposed wires. If you see sparks while cutting the wires, contact customer support immediately.

My Boxpad™ has become unresponsive

If at any time the Boxpad™ does not respond to user input, this probably means that it believes that the user input is not worth its time. Try using the Boxpad™ to do something less stupid. Do not question the Boxpad™'s judgment.

After recalibrating the spigmatic exorption antennna, there is a flashing warning message on the screen saying that an anomalously high core temperature may have caused a signal fault

That sounds bad. Maybe don't do that.

DISCLAIMER

Do not operate in direct sunlight. Do not operate in direct moonlight. Do NOT adjust the Entropy Dial during the operation of the product. Do NOT use left index finger to press any buttons, as this will void the warranty. User assumes all risks associated with the use of the Intercorp™ Boxpad™ 650. If product emits smoke, continue operation in a well-ventilated area. If product attempts to inject you with anything, cease use IMMEDIATELY and contact customer support. This product contains chemicals that are known to the state of California. Do NOT inquire about the purpose of any buttons on the northwest side of the product. The Intercorp™ Boxpad™ 650 is provided “AS IS”, without warranty of any kind, either expressed or implied, including but not limited to warranties of merchantability or fitness for any purpose. Manufactured on equipment that also processes peanuts, eggs, shellfish, and/or shellfish eggs. Intercorp™ Enterprises is not responsible for any death, injury, permanent damage to immortal soul, or warpage of spacetime that may result from the use of this product.